Q. What does DNA stand for?
A. National Dyslexic Association.
Surprising how many people don't get that.
Q. What does Jack the Ripper have in common with Winnie the Pooh?
A. The same middle name.
Q. Why do elephants have big ears?
A. Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.
As I walked into my local pub I stood in a pile of a dog poo & fell over. About a minute later a bloke walked in & also stood in the dog poo & fell over. I approached him & said, 'I just did that' & he belted me!
This one should actually be in a thread called "Really good jokes" because it is my favourite and I tell it all the time.
A duck walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and says "Do you have any grapes?". The bartenders says "No, sorry, we dont have any grapes" and the duck walks out.
The next day the duck walks into the bar again, walks up to the bartender and says "Do you have any grapes?". The bartenders says "No, sorry - we still dont have any grapes!" and the duck walks out.
On the third day the duck walks into the bar again, walks up to the bartender and says "Do you have any grapes?". The bartender is getting annoyed now, and says "No, we dont, we dont have any grapes! Stop coming in here asking if we have grapes". The duck walks out.
The next day the duck walks into the bar again, walks up to the bartender again and says "Do you have any grapes?". The bartender is furious, says "Right, thats it. We dont have any grapes and if you come in here again I am going to nail your feet to the floor do you understand?" The duck walks out.
The next day the duck walks into the bar again! Walks right up to the bartender and says "Do you have any nails?" Confused, the bartenders says "No". The duck says "Do you have any grapes?".
This is the same bloke who was an athiest and spent his whole life wondering if there really is a dog.
No comments:
Post a Comment