Nanna's

 

This should be posted in every school

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this.

 

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

 

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

 

Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your

self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

 

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

 

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

 

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

 

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault , so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

 

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

 

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

 

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

 

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

 

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

 

If you agree, pass it on.

If you don't agree stick your head in the sand and take a deep breath!

 

If you can read this .. thank a teacher!

 

 

 

'Mleko Od Kurca' airlines, made me laugh!

 

How did they do this Ad?

 

Eléphant de mer calin

 

Lunch break - The dolphins' way

 

School Photo

I couldn't believe it, check it out..

This Website is amazing.

They actually have photographs of almost every School in the World.

 Unless you went to School when cameras weren't invented, you will find a photo of yourself or at least your classmates.

 

 

Click on the link below or type it into your search line.

You have to enter the name of your school and Year that you were there.

 

 Give it a go!!!!!!!!!!

 

www.worldschoolphotographs.com              

 

The Man in the Box

 

Really Bad Jokes

Q. What does DNA stand for?

A. National Dyslexic Association.

 

Surprising how many people don't get that.

 

Q. What does Jack the Ripper have in common with Winnie the Pooh?

A. The same middle name.

 

Q. Why do elephants have big ears?

A. Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.

 

As I walked into my local pub I stood in a pile of a dog poo & fell over. About a minute later a bloke walked in & also stood in the dog poo & fell over. I approached him & said, 'I just did that' & he belted me! 

     This one should actually be in a thread called "Really good jokes" because it is my favourite and I tell it all the time.

A duck walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and says "Do you have any grapes?". The bartenders says "No, sorry, we dont have any grapes" and the duck walks out.

The next day the duck walks into the bar again, walks up to the bartender and says "Do you have any grapes?". The bartenders says "No, sorry - we still dont have any grapes!" and the duck walks out.

On the third day the duck walks into the bar again, walks up to the bartender and says "Do you have any grapes?". The bartender is getting annoyed now, and says "No, we dont, we dont have any grapes! Stop coming in here asking if we have grapes". The duck walks out.

The next day the duck walks into the bar again, walks up to the bartender again and says "Do you have any grapes?". The bartender is furious, says "Right, thats it. We dont have any grapes and if you come in here again I am going to nail your feet to the floor do you understand?" The duck walks out.

The next day the duck walks into the bar again! Walks right up to the bartender and says "Do you have any nails?" Confused, the bartenders says "No". The duck says "Do you have any grapes?".

 

This is the same bloke who was an athiest and spent his whole life wondering if there really is a dog.

Really Bad Jokes

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Nacho cheese

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck

Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the p iss out of the undies

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him

 

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

 

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

 

A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy."

 

3 blokes walked into a bar, you reckon one of them would have seen it!

Did you hear about the bloke with dyslexia? He walked into a bra.

 

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."


I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.


A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".


Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands.
Police say that he topped himself.


Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."


Two elephants walk off a cliff...
boom, boom!


Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my
Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu?
But I think it’s Colin.


Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid,
and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other
one off.


Two aerials meet on a rooftop – fall in love – get married.
The ceremony was crap but the Reception was brilliant.


A man walked into the doctor’s, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several
places."
The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore."


Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

Who won masterchef pimple-covered knob or mr miyagi?

 

The impossible backflip

 

  
  
 

Origin of the Royal Family of England

1-Singer ..... 2-Faces ...... Brilliant!!!

 

Carry On Luggage

 

Noosa Holiday opportunity

Hi All

Here's a opportunity that you might be interested in, if you like
holidaying.  We have just purchased a 1-bedroom unit on Noosa Beach as
an investment property. Closed the deal last week and thought that we
would offer it to friends and colleagues first in case anyone is
interested in accommodation for an upcoming getaway on the Sunshine
Coast. It's a bit more exotic than Victoria but we expect it to be a
good investment.
It's available for weekends and on a weekly basis. We will be handling
bookings until we can find an agent to take care of it for us.
Obviously there are costs which we need to service for this property
but we are sure you'll agree when you look at the attached picture
that the rates are pretty attractive for such a high profile property.
We'll have to have it booked on a first-come, first served basis.

For friends and family only, we can make it available for $500 for
weekends up to three
nights, or $400 per week.

It's a 1 bedroom, high-rise unit with ocean view from every window!
See photo attached.
Let us know if you're interested.

Noosa Holiday opportunity

Bye All

SOME THINGS JUST DO NOT NEED A CAPTION

 

Children's Books you can't find in the Bookstore

Centrum vitamins - feel young again -

How Long Can You Hold Your Breath For?

 

The impossible backflip

 

 

 

  
  
 

This is great!!!

 

Kitchen Fire

Kitchen Fire- Read this first, then watch the attached video...
 
Don't assume that everyone knows this stuff. Just forward it to everyone you know and maybe they will forward it to some one who doesn't.  
I never realized that a wet dishcloth can be a one size fits all lid to cover a fire in a pan! This is a dramatic video (30-second, very short) about how to deal with a common kitchen fire... Oil in a frying pan. Read the following Introduction, then watch the show... It's a real eye-opener!  At the Fire Fighting Training school they would demonstrate this with a deep fat fryer set on the fire field. An instructor would don a fire suit and using an 8 oz cup at the end of a 10 foot pole toss water onto the grease fire. The results got the attention of the students. The water, being heavier than oil, sinks to the bottom where it instantly becomes superheated. The explosive force of the steam blows the burning oil up and out. On the open field, it became a thirty foot high fireball that resembled a nuclear blast. Inside  the confines of a kitchen, the fire ball hits the ceiling and fills the entire room.  Also, do not throw sugar or flour on a grease fire. One cup of either creates the explosive force of two sticks of dynamite. This is a powerful message. Watch the video and don't forget what you see. Tell your whole family about this video. Or better yet, send this to them.
 
 

Perth storm