Bad Electrical Puns

 

You one of those guys that does it till it hertz?

 

Ohm my God, that was bad. Watt made you tell that joke?

 

Those are all painfully old.  Don't you know any *current* puns?

 

Plug in your most re-volt-ing puns here...

 

Any more of these and they'll have to charge me with assault and

battery.

 

My resistance to post further in this thread has been overcome by

my capacitance to reason clearly.

 

Then wire we continuing?

 

I can think of amp'le reasons.

 

That's it, I'm off ohm...

 

Maybe you should stay off the lecture circuit.

 

I'm late getting in on this...you had an un farad vantage.

 

Can't you people conductor serious conversation?

 

I think you guys should pull the plug on this thread.

 

On second thoughts, that would be a volt-face...

 

Awww shux, and I was getting all amped up on this current thread!

 

I don't want to be negative, but I'm a little con-fused with all

this, I hope no one will socket to me and ground me for it....

 

These jokes should be in Alt.ernating

 

I'm shocked that you said that, you could use some en-lightning

 

Where the circuit breaker for this re-volt-ing thread?

 

We should all have more resistance.

 

Perhaps if we switched to another topic.

 

I just thought I'd zap in and relay my disgust at these puns.

 

The amount of contributions to this thread is AMPle

 

My sister would enjoy these. I'll contact her and relay them.

 

I was considering adding to this but I expect too much RESISTANCE.

 

Yeah, we've just lost the spark in this thread.

 

Can some repost the whole thread?  Some of the articles have been

OHMitted.

 

sleeping with Bob

The guys were all at a deer camp.  No one wanted to room with Bob,

because he snored so badly..  They decided it wasn't fair to make one

of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning

with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what

happened  to you?  He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and

watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same

thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what

happened to you? You look awful!  He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the

roof with his snoring I watched  him all night."

The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned,  older cowboy, a

man's man.  The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it.  They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed,

patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.  Bob sat up and

watched me all night."

exercises

1. The Plank
Now this is not to be confused with “planking”, but rather “The Plank” (to be done on the ground) is an essential exercise to help improve your core strength.
Getting it right:

·         Lie on your stomach and place your forearms on the ground (elbows under shoulders)

·         Draw in your abdominals and raise up on your toes, holding your body weight on your forearms

·         Inhale to prepare, exhale to raise, natural breath pattern for holding position, exhale to lower

·         Your bottom should not be in the air, move it down so that it is in a straight line between your shoulders and your knees (your tummy should be held in tightly, not sagging towards the floor).

·         You should be in a straight line from head to knees

·         Ensure your head is in neutral position by keeping it in a straight line with your spine. Look forward, not down

·         Hold for 15-20 seconds. Repeat 3 times. Each day add extra time and aim to eventually hold for up to 3 minutes.

2. Push Ups
This is great exercise for working the chest, the anterior deltoids and the tricepts.
Getting it right

·         Get on your hands and toes

·         Set your shoulders and lock your belly button in to activate your core

·         Slowly break at the elbow and lower your body half way toward the floor

·         Keep shoulders set

·         Push back through the heel of your hand away from the floor, back to original position

·         Focus on the pressure under your arm pit

·         Straight line from ankles to hips, to shoulders, to head throughout exercise

·         Try for 8-10. Repeat 3 times.

3. Bridges
Bridges are a great exercise targeting your lower body, particularly your bottom.
Getting it right

·         Lie flat on your back with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor

·         Exhale, squeeze your buttocks, driving up through your heels until your hips are raised as high as they can go (your upper back and shoulders should remain on the floor).

·         Squeeze your bottom tightly, holding for 3 seconds, then lower back down to the floor

·         Repeat 10-12 times for 3 sets

·         For a more advanced workout, do not rest on the floor between reps, allowing your bottom to lightly touch the floor only before raising up again.

4. Lunges
Lunges work most of the muscles in your legs including your quads, hamstrings, glutes and calves.
Getting it right

·         Stand in a split-stance (one leg forward, one leg back)

·         Bend knees and lower body into a lunge position, keeping the front knee and back knee at 90 degree angles

·         Keeping the weight in your heels, push back up (slowly!) to starting position

·         Never lock your knees at the top and don't let your knee bend past your toes

·         Try for 12-16 reps, repeat 3 times.

5. Sumo Squats
Squats are a great way to build lower body strength, particularly in your bottom, quads (front of thighs) and hamstrings (back of thighs).
Getting it right

·         Place a chair behind you as though you are about to sit down on it.

·         Stand in front of the chair feet wide apart (not too wide, but wider than your shoulders) with your feet at 45 degree angles facing outward.

·         Place your arms straight out in front of you, so they are parallel with the floor

·         Keep your arms parallel to the floor as you lower yourself down, sitting back into your bottom. Keep all of the weight on your heels (not your toes) and sit back onto the chair

·         Once you have sat or touched the chair with your bottom, drive through your heels and stand up straight again

·         Try for 10 - 15 rep then repeat.

 

 

Should Maths be taught in schools