Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them...
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top

of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place..'
He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all theway to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat.
Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'
THERE'S MORE...
Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.
He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.
He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'
IT IS NOT OVER YET...
Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing
two friends when Sean appears.
He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.
Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Paddy shakes his head.
'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!'

 

Friday, June 22, 2012

A medical mystery.

A mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost. -- Tom Waits

A mind as empty as the sleeping pill concession at a honeymoon hotel.

A mind like wet tennis shoes... Makes squishy noises when running.

A modest little person, with much to be modest about. -- Churchill

A natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes.

A Neanderthal brain in a Cro-Magnon body.

A notch off the timing mark.

A one-bit brain with a parity error.

A pacifist out of necessity in a battle of wits.

A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.

A prime candidate for natural deselection.

A quart low.

A return with no gosub.

A room temperature IQ.

Monday, March 26, 2012

My friend's a Jehovah's Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Merry Christmas to all you amateur electricians!


 

This is cool, it looks like the house is jumping.

As the story goes, the guy that owns this house lives north of Cincinnati , Ohio ..  Police were constantly being called for traffic jams and accidents in the neighborhood so they asked him to shut it down during certain hours.  Instead he started charging by car load to pay off duty police to be there..  The guy is supposedly a real computerGEEK.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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No comments:

heed

When it is 27plus it is hot

 

Magpies12-telephone

Bah-rooster phnumber-internet

 

 

Monday, December 5, 2011

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

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